..A story behind every frame..

how do i define success? initially i always think success is a stable job and a happy family. after stepping into the industry, success to me is tainted.. it's not a stable job and a happy family anymore.. i want to be a emblematic sublime icon in the hospitality world.. i need a family to be on the move with me.. i know what i want and i know how i'm going to get there.. But this success of mine is a double-edge sword. i'm going to exchange a big part of me to achieve what i want. My family, my friends and my scouts.. i see myself trotting the globe, in the process i'll start losing touch with them one by one.. Am i able to make this sacrifice?

Rise and Fall

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstaryou finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,It's what they call,
The rise and fall

I always said that I was gonna make it,
Now it's plain for everyone to see,
But this game I'm in don't take no prisoners,
Just casualties,
I know that everything is gonna change,
Even the friends I knew before may go,
But this dream is the life I've been searching for,
Started believing that I was the greatest,
My life was never gonna be the same,
Cause with the money came a different status,
That's when things change,
Now I'm too concerned with all the things I own,
Blinded by all the pretty girls I see,
I'm beginning to lose my integrity

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall

I never used to be a troublemaker,
Now I don't even wanna please the fans,
No autographs,
No interviews,
No pictures,
Endless demands,
Give into vices that was clearly wrong,
The type that seems to make me feel so right,
But some things you may find can take over your life,
Burnt all my bridges now I've run out of places,
And there's nowhere left for me to turn,
Been caught in comprimising situations,I should have learnt,
From all those times I didn't walk away,
When I knew that it was best to go,
Is it too late to show you the shape of my heart,

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall

Now I know,
I made mistakes,
Think I don't care,
But you don't realise what this means to me,
So let me have,
Just one more chance,
I'm not the man I used to be,
Used to beeeeeeeeeee

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall..

Friday, September 24, 2004

jason went to ponder at 2:40 am,
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celebrated ong chou hong's birthday a couple of days back.. He's the fat, sabo king menace of our scout troop.. i always thought he's one of the most irritable personality in our scout group but also the most adorable.. you should see his spare tires rumbles when he's running.. it;s like ghostbuster's mr marshmallow a la baywatch.. the scouts actually planned a surprise to celebrate his birthday... they bought a plain white shirt and design the shirt themselves.. they use spray paint for their design and in the end, the tee shirt is as hard as a really dried rotiprata.. and the design.. hmm..let's just say i will only dare to wear it at home.. and also bought 4 mini cakes from the bakery beside and plastics bags.. they filled the platics bags with water adding in a fair amount of grass and mud and huge amount of flour... and devise me of a plan to sabo mr ong chou hong.. i like that.. i like devising evil plans.. so i gave them impossible task to complete in really short time and purposely sabotage the scouts by putting things they packed into some wierd places.. then wahla.. i have a reason to punish them.. everyone was on pumping position knowing the deep agenda lying beneath except mr ong. its was raining at that time so i decided to play a sadistic game.. we have a tennis racket and tenis ball so used it to hit the tennis ball into the basketball court which is beside the scout den.. then i make them one by one commando-crawl in the mud to retrieve the ball in near impossible time. they will only stop once someone hit the stipulated time... then i hit mr ong's ball the furthest.. and everyone was trying hard to hold back their laughter.. so mr marshmellow wobble across the field and rolled through the basketball.. while doing this i signaled the scouts to get ready their water bombs and release hell.. and the rest is history.. he's a gonner..

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

jason went to ponder at 1:22 am,
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from the camp, i could see each and everyone strengths and weaknesses.. some have been ear marked by me so i'll personally groomed them to great things in the future. these bunch of Sec1s did a rather good job... they did an excellent job in the plannning stage but when comes to the executing stage, one by one each stumbles.. its due to the lack of inexperience and i'm happy it happens.. theyfall, they pick themselvesup and they move on. i wanna see them grow up becoming understandings leaders serving the group in the future because they are going to be the one who will replaced me when i retire from my post..

Monday, September 13, 2004

jason went to ponder at 11:48 am,
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going for my scouts camp today... this time its my sec 1s that are going to run this camp. its their first time so shall see how they fare.. hopefully, there are many hitches here and there and maybe i will do abit of sabotage in some of the events to see how they manage to resolve the problem.. i know it's mean but i gotta do it.. let them deal with unexpected situation to make them live on the edge always.. this batch have the potential and now its time to unleash them... here goes..

Saturday, September 11, 2004

jason went to ponder at 3:33 am,
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yeah.. i'm bored again..

Steller Goddess

You are Ji Nu!
A Chinese stellar goddess. Charming, inquistive,
and a dreamer.src="loop=100>>

Which%20Chinese%20Mythological %20Being %20Are%20You?
brought to you by

Friday, September 10, 2004

jason went to ponder at 11:09 am,
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once again, i'm bored...

Bear Spirit Calls To You ~Bear is spirit keeper of the West, the place of
darkness, maturity and good harvest. Bears are
active during the night and day. This
symbolizes its connection with solar energy,
that of strength and power, and lunar energy,
that of intuition. The bear holds the teachings
of introspection. When it shows up in your life
pay attention to how you think, act and
interact.
Bear's Wisdom Includes:

*Introspection
*Healing
*Solitude
*Change
*Communication with Spirit
*Birth and rebirth
*Transformation
*Astral travel
*Creature of dreams, shamans and mystics
*Visionaries
*Defense and revenge
*Wisdom

jason went to ponder at 10:55 am,
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this is what i do when i m bored in the office...

Sandals- peaceful, daydreamy, and thoughtful, you
often find yourself staring into space. When
you aren't out helping others you are often
just dreaming away. You enjoy the company of
friends sometimes but enjoy peace and quiet.
People turn to you for advice, and admire the
peace you seem to have found. [please vote!
thank you! :)]

What Kind of Shoe Are You?(new and updated results!!)

jason went to ponder at 10:53 am,
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Silent tears of wonder, sadness and fear
Fill my book of memories i hold so dear
Picture perfect days a thing of the past
why can't we make love everlast.

We stand by each other when the going gets tough
Hold each other up when one's had enough
But we've all gone beyond that moment in time
Leaving all our memories behind.

We leading separate lives
We're no more those little boys we used to be
but we're still part of one big family
Bonds will never break
You are still my brother
In my arms, you'll still have a home
(*repeat)

In Yeung Ching, you'll still have a home...

this song has been written by serene for our scout troop's 50th annivasary celebration.. i feel so much for the song, and right now i m learning this song by heart to teach my scouts.. this song reminds me of how much i've grown in the group and how it have become one vital part of my life... i'm glad i've choose scouting over athletics in pri 5.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

jason went to ponder at 1:52 pm,
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with all those hustle and bustle that's zooming around me, its hard for me to sit down peacefully and regroup. today i finally i can do it. its a sunday and i don't have a scout meeting in the morning. gotta thank my guardian angel for giving me this precious time.

i'm working with a rather shitty department and i'm made to do all sort of shits. i've learnt and i've grown.. work's been piling up, they have a neck of reproducing themselves when i almost can to see the bottom of my in-tray. i'm glad that i get to go through these, at least now i know a clearer picture of the world outside.. the school is really a sheltered place, i feel we are much more pampered in there. we got lots of break, we don't have reproducing work to do and last but not least, we have so much friends around us to share the experience together. i've neglected my personal life, my family,leigh, and my friends. i beginning to see myself as a workaholic. i read my documents to and fro to work, reaching the office really early and stayed in the office longer than i'm expected to do so; all these entirely for one goal-to create my legacy in this hotel. i'm sure i have somehow succeeded in moulding it but i became less self-fulfiled. i have lost track of what i initially used to believe. i must have my family and friends to share my success. what's the point of climbing so high in the corporate ladder and earning big bucks if there' s no one to share it with you. all this while i'm been focusing on this battle but i forgot all about the war. i've put all my resources into this battle, forgeting about i have other battles to fight in the war. i'm busy chopping the tree but forgot to sharpen my axe.

I'm glad i'm more involved in my scouts now and i got closer to my boys, think its time to put family and friends into my in-tray.

jason went to ponder at 4:54 am,
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Creed

..cast your own judgement..