went dinner with leigh's family a couple of days ago. It was a steak cum seafood restaurant. coincidentally this restaurant happens to be the restaurant i patronise when i was really young and this is where my love for steak comes from. dining in that restaurant once again sure brings back lotsa of memories. family. my dad used to bring me to eat in this restaurant every saturday before bringing me to my granny house. he will order a adult portion steak for me and ask me to eat and told me its nice cos he thinks its nice. so i juz gobble every piece of bloody moo moo into my mouth and thus my feelings for steak develop. think i thought back on my childhood days. my dad really dotes on me. he's a guy of few words but plenty of actions. though sometimes he appear to be stingy, he's saving for the family future so i never complain to him why he never bring us on a holiday. he wanted to give me a good life and i always hear from my mum that my dad stinge on his food so we can eat better food. this took me by surprise and i'm really touched. vague memories of him and i together flashed past... him accompanying me to shit in the cubicle cos i'm too afraid to be alone, him bringing me to the field down my block to learn how to cycle, him bringing me to and fro to the various doctors despite his busy work schedule cos i broke my arm, him always buying new toys for me every week when i was a little kid, him hugging me when i broke down when i can't handle the stress in sec 1. he earned my respect and no matter how he raise his voice at me, i;ll never rebutt. sometimes his ego get the better out of him, even though he's wrong, i respect his point of view. he raise me up and i'm proud to be his son.

went to granny house today after a study session at the esplanade library. its wasn't plan but felt a sudden urge to see my family and relatives. they have been really close to me during my childhood days. i can to mingle and play with my little cousins. each and every little thing had grown up. i'm so proud of them. as usual i played with jerome and jerode, brigette and beatrice. they are the youngest among all and the cutest. wrestle with jerome, let jerode and brigette and beatrice took turns to step on my feet and did a four legged walk. it brings me back to when i was a little boy just like them. pour cold water on jerome and jerode while they are showering so could see them squirm like a little boy. naked young boys looks cute. oops... then we proceed to our tv session and all of them juz crowd around me. as usual jerome sit on me and somehow i feel this affinity with him. i felt like a father. with my kids all around me watching tv together. its simple, but it is a bliss. with so much work and woo-haa in poly life, spending time with those innocent one brought me back to where i belong. my family. i promise myself i'm gonna be a good father and a good husband in the future. i don't dream of giving a luxurious life to my family, but i'm going to give them a meaningful family life.i can't give them wealth but i can give them happiness. i can't pamper them with gifts but can pamper them with love. i'm gonna work so hard and give them a good life.

Jerome and jerode's father, uncle kay soon slipped 100 bucks to my pocket today. he's my best uncle, not because he gives me money, but he instills moral values into me when young, dotes on me, comforts me when i'm scared, supports me when i'm down. He played a big part in moulding me to what i am today and i proud to have him as a uncle. his dillgence,kindness and never-say-die attitude influenced me alot. he gave me confidence and make me believe in myself. he clear the mist so i can have a clearer vision of my future. He's always there for me. I feel its now time for me to return his gratitude. i tried teaching vanessa, jerome,jerode what's right and wrong and listen to nonscensical talks from them. esp jerode(3 yrs old) who says his birthday is coming and its on october.

Had a talk today with brigette and beatrice's father, uncle kian tiong. He's another milestone in my life. He's the one who encourage me to join scouting. he's the one who engraved a phrase so deeply in my heart, "Follow your heart." He's the one who brings me closer to nature, lecture me when i'm naughty and punish me when i misbehave.

These 2 uncles played an important role in making what i am today. i felt grateful and i'm not gonna let them down. i'm gonna take care of their kids and guide them along as they grow up and i'm gonna give both of them a good life when they retire. Thanks for being my inspiration!

Saturday, April 17, 2004

jason went to ponder at 3:50 pm,
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