Emotions engulfed me on the bus. was sitting opposite a granny. OUt of nothing she gave me a really warm smile. then she proceed on to wrapped her IC and ez-link card into her makeshift wallet make out of tissue paper. her stained jaed bangles, floral blouse, unflattering pants brings me back to my childhood days. she reminds me of my granny. i went alot with her. she cleaned up my shit, feed me, put me into bed, gave me yakult to drink when i am a good boy, comfort me when i am scare accompany me to the toilet when i am scared. once my mum attempted to cane me and granny came forward to block the stroke for me. it hurts, i know it does. i could feel it from my granny. now it hurts me even more just looking at granny's state now. she';s senile and sinking ino depression. she's not as strong as before. most of the time, she's lying on the bed. whenever i see her, it pains me i couidn't look into her eyes, fearing i might break down any moment. all i could do is to muster a smile saying "ah ma,wa chia liao..." i hold her hands everytime i see her. its still the same withered hands that pat me to sleep when i was a child. if this equation in this world, someone please take 5 years of my life and give it to my granny instead. i missed her. i love you ah ma.

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

jason went to ponder at 10:27 am,
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